We have all heard that Man is a social animal. How much of this is true in today's world?? Lets look at what is going on around the world. To be honest we don't know half of what is going on around the world but what is shown by the media, so we are biased in our perception. But this stems from what people in media thinks the world should know as to what they should not.
The various wars fought around the world in the name of freedom & ideology. The inherent capability of humans to kill each other in the name of God or religion (God & Religion are 2 separate things....no debate). The question is if we are social beings why are we not tolerant by nature about other beings. Is this the natural evolution of man from being a social animal to someone who is greedy & hungry for power. Someone looking to dominate just like any other animal who moves in packs or groups?
This is food for thought for another discussion but we come to the point of being social, is this what we are or what we used to be? In a continuous evolution we seem to have evolved into beings that seek information (not knowledge) on everything including facts & feelings. However when it comes to physical interaction we have gone from bad to worse.
We have gone from big families to nuclear families. We have tough time having meaningful conversations face to face (gossip is not counted as meaningful conversation people). Despite being surrounded by people we are more lonely then ever. The rate of suicide cases & depressions have spiraled. Society (mostly Indian) continues to teach us morals & values based on blood relations & importance of staying together. However we are no longer into these things as at some levels we are burdened by need to work & earn to satisfy our materialistic (consumerism is killing us) needs of comfort, respect & vicious circle called rat race.
Do we not feel the pressure to conform to the societal pressure of the above expectations? When we can't form real relationships we pretend to be around people to seem normal. Most of the times this pretense just keeps going on and we feel suffocated and we end up frustrated. This happens at work, at home. It is not all doom & gloom people, we are just too grown up for are own good. In a day and age where most relationships you have are built on some expectations, there were those built on something real. Those happened in school, college or place where you grew up.
These were not blood relationships but were real. these are FRIENDS you made. Some are for life and some got lost along the way. We all can talk about what it means to have a true friend & value of such people around. Despite all the things we know, we continue to loose them at times and give excuses to ourselves. The excuses of being busy with so-called life. In the name of priorities we put friends (most things we enjoy) on the back burner.
But we are here to talk on the other relationships, which are important part of what we are but evolution of humans & technology has made some of these very superficial. But our culture & society makes us believe that we have to conform or be an outcast in our social structure.
The feeling that we continue to live (exist) just for the sake of society and pretend it is normal, is this what being a man is in this day & age? If we want to live to be happy & have people around with whom we actually have a real relationship, is that being selfish? I am not proposing that we ignore are moral responsibilities to our families but can we not focus on what makes us happy rather than what society defines as happiness?
Conclusion: Real relationships add meaning to life but pretense adds pressure. It leads to frustration and feeling of nothing being real in your life. You are just meandering through life. Wouldn't you want to do something meaningful instead of just going through the motions? Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself all the time.
But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.
If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” or “Playing Candy crush all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me,” then fine. Sounds good.
But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out of you, not what mom thinks or what the guy next door says.
Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.
Being in a real relationship is rare & we should be able to give it time to develop. But being forced into a relationship to seem normal for the society is not the way to go. Be free to form relationships but not be under pressure to maintain & define it. Relationships should give us strength & inspiration to be the best of what we can be and improve where we can.The ones we are born into & the ones we make as we grow.
It seems we have evolved into beings who prefer to have our relationships at our convenience. We like to take things for granted and we expect people to understand us but not vice versa. So we are moving into a stage where humans would like to be alone but not isolated. We would have all the information at our fingertips but knowledge of nothing.
If we want to live a long life, we will have to sustain the pressure of this fast paced ever changing society. So keep things simple and do what makes you happy, if being single is what you want stay happily single rather than miserably married. Be a good father/mother/son/daughter but not someone pretending to accept if its not.
